Whoa dude. My belt came undone when you said that.

There are a few things as heartbreaking to me as seeing a person swimming in a T-shirt. And I can speak with the authority of someone who did it for years. It is conspicuous. It bogs you down. When you get out of the water, you take half the lake with you. It takes the fun out of swimming and puts a visual metaphor to the burdens of a negative body image.

Could my problem have been that I was looking for validation in the wrong places all along?

It was true: I was starting to hate girls. Not that I was into the machismo of being a “manly-man.” It was just that, for boys, there seemed to be more options available: there were more ways to be a boy and still be accepted, whereas the popular girls all appeared to be cut from the same cloth. Or they were clones or something.

A boy can be celebrated because of his personality and talents, regardless of how he looks. In fact, talent can make a guy attractive who may not be by traditional standards. But a girl is usually only popular if she looks good.

I knew that girls made fun of each other, but talking about someone’s body like that seemed so wrong. You can’t choose your body! I was suddenly aware that I was under-performing in ways I didn’t even know existed. From then on I always showered in my swimsuit, changed clothes in the outhouse (which defeated the purpose of showering), and worst of all, I developed the habit of swimming in a t-shirt.

It’s an interesting idea, but I would challenge you to decide: Do you hate girls? Or do you hate the expectations put on girls by society?

To borrow a metaphor from the kitchen sink… Children form strong opinions easily. They soak up information from their parents, school, and the media, and repeat it back to the world. So when you don’t look or act like what everyone has been told is the norm, you get proverbially barfed on a lot.